Helping Your Teen Navigate Social Media

You know you’ve experienced it—the blank stares, the half-hearted nods, the frustration of trying to have a real conversation while your teen is glued to their phone. You call their name once, twice, maybe even three times before they finally look up, only to respond with a distracted "What?" Family bonding, over the dinner table and car rides, now competes with Snapchat, TikTok (even when banned), RedNote trends and Insta reels.

Look Familiar?

Read On!

According to the Pew Research Center, 95% of teens have access to a smartphone, and 89% use at least one social media platform daily. This interactive world, with continuous updates and adrenaline hits, is alluring. An escape from pressure, obligations and overwhelming feelings is tempting. So, how do you pull your child back into reality?

As an academic coach, my role goes beyond ensuring academic success. I help parents and their teens navigate emotional well-being in this ubiquitous digital world. Students themselves admit that social media is a double-edged sword. While it offers avenues for connection, learning, fun and creativity, it often leads to considerable dips in mood, increased distraction and diminished self-esteem. The key is to teach them how to approach social media with emotional intelligence (EI) and turn it into a tool for personal growth rather than harm.

Understanding the Impact of Social Media on Teens

The risks associated with excessive social media use are well-documented. Dr. Megan Moreno’s research, conducted by her Social Media and Adolescent Health Research Team (SMAHRT), highlights a correlation between heavy social media use and increased rates of depression and anxiety among teens. Exposure to disturbing images, often with little warning, takes a toll. When the body’s fight-or-flight response is triggered by upsetting news or other content, the sympathetic nervous system is activated. This releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, which can damage physical and mental health. 

At the same time, the “highlights reel” nature of platforms like Insta and TikTok encourages users to share only their most polished moments. Dr. Jenny Radesky, Developmental Behavioral Pediatrician and Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Michigan Medical School, states that, “the constant notifications and scrolling can create a cycle of craving validation … leading to obsessive use and a distorted sense of reality.”

How Do We Break Free from the Hold of Social Media’?

Radesky emphasizes that these platforms are designed to exploit the brain’s reward systems, making it difficult for users to break free from endless scrolling. Arthur C. Brooks, a social scientist and coauthor of Build the Life You Want, succinctly calls social media “a slot machine of social approval,” often leaving users feeling more isolated than connected.

With all of this, it is clear why so many teens are hooked. Parents must work to truly understand the complexities of this social media world and approach their teen with greater empathy. Judgment and anger won’t help here, even if those feelings come up. Partnership with a child creates much longer-lasting solutions.

Partner With Your Child Whenever Possible.

It’s the Most Empowering Way to Create Meaningful Shifts.

Helping a Student Manage Screen Time

Many teens struggle with balancing social media use with academic responsibilities and mental well-being. Excessive time spent on platforms like Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok can contribute to declining grades, increased anxiety, and disrupted sleep. Self-awareness and self-regulation strategies can help teens develop healthier digital habits while maintaining a sense of control and independence.

Key Strategies for Healthier Social Media Use

1. Encouraging Self-Awareness
One effective approach is having teens track their social media habits, noting how they feel before and after using different platforms. Keeping a simple log for a week can highlight patterns of mood changes and excessive scrolling, helping them recognize when their screen time is negatively affecting their well-being.

2. Setting Clear Boundaries
Creating structured social media use helps prevent it from interfering with essential activities like schoolwork and sleep. Setting designated times for social media—such as after homework up to an hour before bedtime—allows teens to enjoy their online interactions while maintaining a routine. Turning off devices at night, framed as a supportive family habit rather than a punishment, can improve sleep and reduce stress. Some families purchase timed lock boxes to support tech-free sleep times.

3. Establishing Tech-Free Zones
Families can reinforce healthy digital habits by designating "no phone zones" in key areas of the home, such as the dinner table or common living spaces. Labeling these areas with friendly reminders, like “Yo! Be Here Now,” can encourage in-person interactions and foster stronger family connections.

4. Offering Engaging Alternatives
Providing engaging offline activities can help teens shift their focus away from excessive social media use. Creative outlets, such as joining a photography club, engaging in sports, or having more say in family activities such as movie selections or outings, can make real-life experiences feel just as compelling as online engagement. When teens feel involved and valued in their home environment, they are more likely to seek balance over escapism.

Positive Outcomes

By implementing these strategies, many teens experience improvements in mood, academic performance, and overall well-being. While initial resistance is common, structured boundaries and positive reinforcement often lead to gradual acceptance. Over time, they become more mindful of their digital consumption, make healthier choices, and gain a greater sense of control over their time and emotions.

Helping teens navigate social media in a balanced way isn’t about removing it altogether—it’s about guiding them toward intentional, mindful use that supports their well-being. Through self-awareness, family support, and alternative activities, teens can develop healthier habits while still enjoying the benefits of the digital world.

There is a whole, wonderful world out there.

Make sure your child finds it.

Building Empathy Through Positive Online Engagement

Many teens experience feelings of inadequacy and isolation when comparing themselves to the seemingly perfect lives showcased on social media. Carefully curated highlight reels can distort reality, making everyday life feel much less exciting in comparison. Helping teens build empathy and a more realistic perspective on social media can provide a healthier digital experience.

Key Strategies for a Healthier Social Media Mindset

1. Understanding the “Highlight Reel” Effect
One way to help teens develop awareness of social media’s selective nature is by having them create their own exaggerated “highlight reel.” By editing photos, dressing up, and showcasing only the most flattering moments, they can see firsthand how easy it is to create an illusion of perfection. Discussing how others do the same helps teens realize they are comparing their real lives to someone else’s filtered and incomplete version of reality.

2. Setting Healthy Boundaries
Implementing structured screen-free times, such as “no screens at breakfast and dinner,” fosters meaningful in-person connections. Establishing nighttime routines that don’t involve scrolling—like reading, drawing, or listening to sleep stories—can reduce screen-induced stress and improve overall well-being.

3. Shifting Toward Positive Engagement
Encouraging teens to curate their feeds can help shift their online experiences from comparison to inspiration. Unfollowing accounts that trigger self-doubt and replacing them with ones that promote positivity, hobbies, and mental well-being can make a significant impact. Engaging in social media with purpose—whether through supporting a cause, sharing uplifting messages, or pursuing a creative interest—helps teens feel more empowered and less consumed by social validation.

Positive Outcomes

Teens who adopt these strategies often develop a healthier relationship with social media. While they may not eliminate all exposure to unrealistic standards, they learn to counter negative emotions with perspective and self-awareness. Over time, they feel less pressure to conform, take more intentional breaks from social media, and engage more confidently in real-world interactions. Parents often notice an increase in their child’s self-esteem, emotional resilience, and overall happiness.

By fostering empathy and promoting mindful online engagement, parents can help teens navigate social media in a way that enhances, rather than diminishes, their well-being.

Tech-Free Time Makes All the Difference.

Tips for Parents to Support Healthy Social Media Habits

Parents play a vital role in guiding teens toward balanced social media use. Here are some strategies:

1. Foster Open Communication
   Create an environment in which teens feel comfortable discussing their online experiences. Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you like about social media?” or “Have you ever encountered something upsetting online?” Remember how important it is to not be judgmental or reactive here.

2. Set Collaborative Boundaries
   Partner with your teen to establish rules around screen time and social media use. Involve them in creating a plan that includes screen-free zones or times, such as during meals or before bedtime.

3. Model Healthy Behavior Demonstrate healthy digital habits by limiting your own screen time and prioritizing face-to-face interactions or personal interests.

4. Encourage Offline Activities Help your teen discover hobbies, sports, or clubs that can provide a sense of purpose and community outside of social media. Give them a greater voice in family decisions and plans.

5. Teach Critical Thinking Discuss the curated nature of social media and the importance of questioning what they see online. Encourage them to think critically about how social media influences their thoughts and feelings.

Empowering Teens to Live Healthy Digital Lives

Social media can be a valuable tool when used intentionally and thoughtfully. As Arthur C. Brooks reminds us, “The goal is not to eliminate social media but to learn how to use it to enrich, rather than diminish, our lives.”  Through open communication, intentional use, and a focus on real-world connections, parents and teens can navigate the digital landscape together, turning a potential source of harm into a tool for growth and connection. I’ve seen firsthand how small changes can lead to significant improvements in both emotional health and academic performance. Let’s all work together to guide teens toward a balanced and fulfilling digital world.

About Kathleen

Kathleen Young, Founder of Aurora Lights Coaching, is an Academic and Personal Development Coach. She is also an educational specialist at a nonprofit dedicated to promoting executive function skill building in schools. Kathleen loves helping clients tap into their strengths and find a purposeful energy that moves them forward.